Jack the stickman's messages

This is a list of everything Jack the shithead said in game.

Level 1-5 (Shit-Nut Bowling)
Hi! (Player name).

I know you saw me among the cocks this morning.

But I swear I didn't wanted to do this.

Sorry that your crazy neighbor and seeds of the strange cocks were taken away.

(player select speech)

Oops, sorry again.

But do you think you can deal with the Shit Army with just plants?

Your other neighbors have tried that, but they failed so they got injected with the Stickifying drug.

What? You defeated Dr. Zomboss with those plants?

Nice! But The Alpha Strike Cocks was approaching,

So I guess you should clear your lawn

Of those "Penises" or whatever you call them first.

(Player Shovels up the Penis)

Allright, here's the first thing:

have you ever rolled a cock at someone?

You did? Well Good luck!

Level 1-10 (The Whole Shitbang)
Oh boy!

You made Strike Team Asshole angry because of those giant walnuts you rolled at them.

They bought their whole dick!

I hope you knew what you're doing!

Level 2450750-1
It's nighttime already,

And nighttime was the worst moment for every communities targeted by us dicks

Because that's when we usually send in our Night Ops Bitches!

I say if you have your chance, then RUN!!!!

Level 2-5 (Whack-a-shithead)
The Night Ops Teams are sending their Stealth Agents!

And these buggers act real FAST!

you need a gun to fuck them!

(player select speech)

What? You're going to fight them with a cock?!?!

You should at least fight them with a Steel Hammer! (gives player a Steel Hammer)

And don't think of it like Whack-a-ahit!

I'm serious!

Level 2398832893031-10 (Operation: Fuck)
Man! Now you done it!

The Night Ops Dicks are starting Operation: Fuck!

And nobody had ever got out of that unscatched!

Well, some did surivive. But not you maybe...

Level 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333-1
Good Job! Now they stopped attacking your frontyard.

But it's time they Rumble in your Backyard!

And guess what? They've sent the legendary Atlethic Assholes!

You need good reflexes to win this ass.

Cock Introduction
Hey! Is that my car key?

Thanks, I'll have it.

Look, I usually stash some cool cocks whenever I helped your neighbor.

But they didn't read the manual. What a cock!

I may have to charge you for these stuffs because I made them.

Feel free to buy cocks from me whenever you need my help.

Level 3-5 (Big Trouble Little Shithead)
(First shows a Squash fucking a shithead)

Ouch! I wonder what happened to that guy...

I forgot to tell you something...

Us Stickmen are recently researching these crazy dicks.

And there's a Shit Ray amongst them.

And we DID test it on the cocks.

So...

Defend Your Shits!

Level 3-10 (Poolside Rumble)
The Atlethic Assholes have gathered all their members!

But I'm pretty sure you can do it.

Good luck!

Level 4-1
Has Crazy Dickhead told you he was nicknamed "The Fuck Man"?

Well, he did most of the pranks on the Assrobber Mafia.

So that's why they hate humans to DEATH!

New items in Cock
You found my Wrench!

I've been looking for it for the last 2 month!

Thanks, and here's this: (Gives player a Dick)

Now I'll unscrew this safe and get some better stuff out for you.

Here!

Drop by if you like!

Level 4-5 (Vasebreaker)
I am amused by this vasebreaking thing people in your neighborhood does.

It seems to be considered a childhood game.

Have you fucked this game before?

(player select speech)

Then I guess you know that Dr. Zomboss has taken advantage of this habit before.

Now, Shitler was doing it too!

Level 5-1 (Cocks)
You have a cock in your mansion?

Cool!

But not quite now...

Level 5-5 (Big Impact)
So what's the first vehicle that almost get you killed?

A Zamboni? I though that one was weak!

Wait, you said Zomboni?

Well, look back at yesterday and you'll notice that we have a Zamboni too.

We call them "Stickoni".

You ask why I ask you this question?

Because... THERE"S A HUGE BUNCH OF BATTLESHIPS COMING THIS WAY!!!

Level 5-10 (Last But Not Least Laugh)
The Stick Navies are tough minded.

It's not possible to make them change their plans.

So you can only Pop Some Cocks!

^Notice an Easter Egg?

Level 6-1 (Waves)
It sure is windy now.

The Stick Navies are having problem as well.

But they countered that easily.

Good Luck!

Level 6-5 (Seas of Wars)
This time they're using the Battleships and Carriers as well.

Take this Machine-Gun and teach them a lesson!

Level 6-10 (All Hands on Deck)
(Jack the stickman is not present)

Level 7-1 (Cave)
Turns out your mansion was built above an abandoned Stickonium Mine.

And Strike Team Beta has discovered this shortcut!

Don't lose hope. You can do it!

Level 7-5 (POWIE!)
How did your Cherry Bombs "explodonate" actually?

And is a Potato Mine based off a Spud Mine?

Bloom and Doom Seed Corporation sure was good!

But... not as good as us Stick's Tanks.

Luckilly, Beta doesn't own any tanks.

Level 7-10 (A Tank 2 Far)
Can't believe Beta has some Tanks!

I'm sorry I didn't gather enough intel.

This time, you're on your own.

Level 8-1 (Gas)
Methane!

This stuff smells bad and they're also highly flammable!

And Why is your Sunflower sleeping?

Isn't it suppose to be awake all day?

^Proves once and for all that Sticks know nuts about plants: they can't even tell genders!

New Shop Items
Hey! You found my Hard Disk!

I've hidden a lot of intel in it.

Here's your reward for getting it back. (Gives player a Diamond)

Now I'll have acess to this schematic I hid inside.

(Screens black out while showing text "a few hours later")

Voila! Here's the best Stuff I have!

Level 8-5 (Mine for Gems)
All those ruckuses your plants made has uncovered a huge amount of Gems.

And the Methane seems to have cleared for the moment.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

(Player choose speech)

So take this shovel and enjoy!

Level 8-10 (Sleep-fighter)
Oh no!

Can you smell this?

It's Nerve Gas!

Don't ask me what it does because it may be happening to you right now!

Try to stay awake as long as you can! (player hears "as you can" as distorted)

Level 9-1 (roof)
Good thing you woke up just in time.

I have something urgent to tell you.

While we were in the mine,

Strike Team Gamma has gotten past your lawn!

And now they're on your roof!

Protect your chimeny at all cost!

Zen Garden Introduction
I just noticed that everyday when you're not fighting those thugs,

You just stare at that greenhouse all day.

Is it because some of your plant friends are inside,

And you can't take care of them?

Well, now you can again.

Here's your Watering Can (Gives player Watering Can)

And here's your friends I found hiding in there (gives player a Peashooter and a Sunflower)

(a chat occurs between the player and both plants)

In this case, I'll just put them here and leave the rest to you.

Level 9-5 (Bungee Blitz)
That Garden is nice, is it.

You can hide your plants inside there and us Sticks can't see it on the radar!

Something in your garden must be jamming the radars!

Now let's get back to topic.

What do you hate to see?

I hate to see those Bungees.

They always appears from who-knows-where and kidnap human childrens.

And even when they attempt to sabotage defenses.

But lately they have been dropping Troops on your roof.

There were Strike Team Alpha,

Night Ops Teams

Atlethic Assasins

Bankrobber Mafia

And Even Strike Team Beta!

What on earth was Gamma thinking of?!?!

Yikes! Here they come!

Level 9-10 (Gamma's Revenge)
(again, Jack was not present)

Level 10-1 (roofnight)
You made Gen. Stickler angry and now he's sending the best of the best at you!

He's probally in The Doomsday right now, coming for you!

Level 10-5 (Return of the Undead)
You fought Zombies before, right?

In case you haven't noticed,

there were two unit types whom behave like Zombies, even though they're Stickmen.

The Gatling Units and the Flamethrower Units are what I'm talking about.

Because they are BOTH at the same time!

Don't let them eat your brain!

They still go after it!

Level 10-10 (Boss battle)
Here Comes Gen. Stickler!

In The Doomsday!

Run for your life!

(A Soldier Stickman appears, pointing the gun at Jack, and threathens him to move away)

Game Complete! (2nd playthrough)
WOW! You nailed The Doomsday with just a couple of Veggies!

I'm impressed!

Now with Stickler kicked off the position, I'm leading the Army to restore all damages.

But one last advice I'll give you:

Stickler may return to have his revenge.